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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467724">All He Really Needed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yel_halansu/pseuds/yel_halansu'>yel_halansu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, Tarsus IV, Terraforming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:09:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yel_halansu/pseuds/yel_halansu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jim struggles to fall asleep, he finds comfort in the most important people in his life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All He Really Needed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim had been staring at the ceiling for four hours. He turned in his bed, exasperated and tired. He had tried everything by that point: listening to relaxing music through his headphones, counting to a hundred to bore himself into sleep, and turning around restlessly, trying to find a comfortable position. He had tried breathing deeply with his eyes closed, but his shallow dreams had flooded with memories that jerked him awake almost immediately. He had tried with all his might not to revisit them, and failed.</p><p> </p><p>Some nights he had them completely under control, and then on other nights they would surface for no apparent reason. Today had been much more than that, and the short courtesy visit to the new colony of Mu Sextantis IV had truly proven to be a test of both his composure and his sanity. Calling it a “colony” was extremely generous, as it was barely more than an isolated science station with some lodging accommodations at this point in time. The foreman had asked him how he was finding the settlement, and Jim had really had to bite his lip after the on-site admiral had shot him a look that threatened disciplinary measures if he seemed anything less than impressed. The terraforming work, much of which had been performed manually, was truly astounding, and Jim was ready to admit that. However, the colony's energy supply left much to be desired, and would not be fully operational for several years. In the meantime, they would still necessitate energetic and mineral supplies delivered on a regular basis to operate their replicators until they were able to tap into a steady energy source... or at least until the land was arable, if they wanted to be old-fashioned about it.</p><p> </p><p>Did they simply not see the problems this could create? Jim felt like his head hurt, like he had been thinking about this so hard he had given himself a migraine. Did they not see that they had just stranded scientists, along with their civilian families, on a planet that was way out of the more established trade routes, and well over a thousand parsecs away from the nearest Federation outpost, across a highly dense asteroid belt? How could they be so irresponsible? They had simply decided to rely on the imports to supply Mu Sextantis IV without seemingly even considering how the supplies would get there in the first place, or would would happen if they didn't.</p><p> </p><p>It was a Tarsus IV waiting to happen, that's what it came down to.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    <span>He had tried to express his concerns in an appropriate fashion, he really had, but the admiral had been quick to dismiss him after that. It ha</span>
  </span>
  <span>d been beyond his competency, he knew this well. After all, he was there simply to boost morale, to let the terraforming team know that the Federation cared enough about them to send the Captain of the Starfleet flagship to their forgotten corner of the universe to shake hands with the local authorities. They did not care enough to actually help them prevent a tragedy, it seemed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe the Federation had it under control. Maybe luck would be on their side and they would not have any issue with the supply delivery, at least for several years until the settlement grew, and the land became fertile, and other colonies were formed in the surrounding area. But that had been the same reasoning behind the creation of Tarsus IV, had it not?</p><p> </p><p>Jim sighed, rolled over in bed, and rubbed his eyes, as though trying to wipe away the images of Tarsus IV. He did not bother to look at the clock: it was late, very late into the night. Bones was not in bed, again, and he didn't know where he could be this time. He turned to look at Spock, who was lying rigidly beside him, his chest rising and falling rhythmically as he slept. Jim felt like he might cry. He slowly got up to avoid waking the Vulcan, and grabbed his t-shirt from the floor, sliding it on as he walked silently out the door of their shared quarters.</p><p> </p><p>He had thought he would not meet anyone in the deserted ship corridors in the middle of the night, and he was mostly correct. A couple of ensigns on Gamma shift had crossed his path, but they had not reacted to him walking barefoot in the direction of the mess hall, wearing only his pajamas. Perhaps they had not recognized him as the Captain, he thought, or perhaps sleepless crew members taking a stroll was a relatively common occurrence that did not surprise them anymore. Jim walked past the mess hall, and straight on towards the observation deck. Perhaps looking at the stars would lull him into sleep once again.</p><p> </p><p>After the door to the observation deck swished open, he stepped into the dark, empty hall, and his footsteps echoed against the cold duranium walls that glistened softly in the starlight. A quiet echoing voice made him stop in his tracks. He looked closer, and noticed a figure standing close to the massive pane of transparent alluminum that overlooked the space beyond. He smiled to himself as soon as he recognized the voice and walked up to the man, pulling him into a warm hug from behind.</p><p> </p><p>Bones jumped, and cursed as he was startled. However, he soon realized that it was Jim who was holding him, and ruffled his hair with his free hand as he held the PADD as far as his arm could reach so they were both in the frame.</p><p> </p><p>–<span>Dammit Jim, you almost gave me a heart attack! Joanna, look who it is!–</span></p><p>–<span>Uncle Jim!– the girl's delighted voice crackled from the device.</span></p><p>–<span>Hello!– he tried to force a smile that Leonard saw right through in a second.</span></p><p>–<span>We were watching the stars! Dad, show him!– the child shouted excitedly.</span></p><p>–<span>He can see them, sweetheart– Bones reassured his daughter with a warm smile before adding:</span></p><p>–<span>Joanna, pumpkin, I have to leave now. I'll call you again next week, alright?– he said in a much softer Southern drawl than the grumbles that Jim was used to hearing.</span></p><p>–<span>Alright dad! I love you!–</span></p><p>–<span>I love you too, sweetheart– the PADD crackled as they saw Joanna reach for the button on her device, and the communication cut off.</span></p><p> </p><p>Leonard sank immediately back into the hug, and after a deep breath, he pulled away and sat down on the floor, gesturing for Jim to sit beside him.</p><p>–<span>What is up with you now?– he asked, putting down the PADD before cupping Jim's face with his hands and planting a soft kiss on his lips. Jim allowed it, but his lips did not respond.</span></p><p> </p><p>–<span>I just... I can't sleep– Jim ventured as Leonard pulled him against his chest in a tight hug.</span></p><p> </p><p>–<span>Well, we should both get back to bed. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for the time difference between ship hours and Georgia– Leonard lied.</span></p><p> </p><p>Jim did not reply, but rather leaned even closer into Leonard's chest wordlessly.</p><p> </p><p>–<span>There, Jim– he let a few moments pass before tightening the hug and asking again with his usual grumbling demeanor –will you tell me what's going on? Is this about the colony?–</span></p><p> </p><p>Jim's expression softened for a second. Leonard could really read him like a book. He would have made an amazing counselor if he hadn't trained to be a surgeon, Jim thought to himself.</p><p> </p><p>–<span>I just know they're making a mistake. An adventurous spirit is hardly justified when the lives of civilians are at stake. It's irresponsible to create an outpost that dependent on external supplies– part of him wanted to elaborate, just to get it all out, but he knew that Bones had understood what he meant. He could see it in his eyes. –I should have said something, I should have...–</span></p><p> </p><p>–<span>Nothing you could have said would have changed anything– Leonard interrupted. –They're not going to pack up and leave because of a conversation with you, Jim. They knew what they were getting into.–</span></p><p> </p><p>–<span>Do they?– Jim asked in a sob as the first tear fell down his cheek. He was so tired.</span></p><p> </p><p>–<span>Darlin',– Leonard continued as his voice softened –darli</span><span><span>n'... it was not your job to stop them. Nothing bad is going to happen... it's OK...</span></span></p><p> </p><p>Leonard shifted so they could both look through the windowpane at the stars and planets and nebulae as they passed by, and Jim thought it reminded him to watching the cornfields back home as they flew past the window of his family's truck during the long trips to Iowa City. He lowered his head so it was resting against Leonard's shoulder and continued crying wordlessly, his boyfriend's arm wrapped around his waist tightly. He cried and cried until he could not continue, and his eyes were puffy and his breathing shaky. Surprisingly, he found that he felt a lot better. They stayed there for a while, and Leonard rubbed Jim's side tenderly every now and again. In spite of his throbbing headache, Jim felt himself relax slowly and his eyes soon became heavy with sleep.</p><p> </p><p>They had lost track of time when they heard the distant swish of the doors opening, but they did not break the hug. The steady, collected nature of the approaching steps betrayed who was taking them right away, and neither of them felt compelled to look up until Spock stopped behind them.</p><p> </p><p>–<span>Jim. Leonard. It is currently 02:47 ship hours– he said simply.</span></p><p> </p><p>Jim patted the ground beside him, and Spock sat down obediently before being pulled into the hug as well. Jim smiled to himself when he felt the fabric of Spock's uniform. It was so like him to get dressed just to come and find them, even though he was off shift, in a deserted part of the ship, in the middle of the night. So like Spock. His Spock... no, their Spock. He tightened his arm around the Vulcan's shoulders. Spock allowed them to indulge in the hug for a few moments before insisting they should return to bed. He was trying to keep his voice steady and dispassionate, as usual, but Jim could clearly sense the softness behind his words.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Back in their quarters, Jim clambered onto the bed to take his usual spot: right in the center, with Spock to his right and Bones to his left. He left out a heavy sigh as he settled, pulling up the covers over them three. Leonard was quick to swing his arms over Jim's chest, but didn't say anything other than a low, unintelligible grumble. Jim turned to him and kissed him gently on the cheek. He reached behind him beneath the covers to find Spock's hand, which he held tenderly for a few moments before the Vulcan turned on his side to hold him from behind. He closed his eyes as a smile teased at his lips. Perhaps not everything was well in the universe, but he knew the worst was behind him, and sometimes he had to take comfort in that. He had to be strong, had to believe that he was enough if he wanted to command a starship, to help others. Leonard and Spock made it all so much easier. And, he reminded himself, that was all he really needed.</span>
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